ParentLand

"You know, you can't put EVERYthing on the blog. I'm being slandered! You didn't mis-quote me, but it was still out of context. You're making me look like a real..." ...well, I don't think I have to remind you all of the choice term the father of my child used earlier.

He continued... "I meant, BIOLOGICALLY - I was wondering BIOLOGICALLY when they are going to get bigger... I was looking at them, wondering: Is my kid going to have enough to EAT?!?"

Oh man, it just gets better and better, doesn't it?

Seriously, I do know what he meant. It's just cracking me up that he's so worked up over what people will think of him.

Again, I've invited him to use this wonderful blog that HE started as a forum to expound upon the rest of the "context" as he puts it, as well as what on earth is going on in his mind these days. Until he takes me and everyone else up on the offer, I guess I'll have to represent the both of us.

He also said to me, "I had kind of a mini 'Holy Sh**!' moment the other day. Well, not really like 'Holy SH**!,' but more like 'Oh WOW - I'm really going to become a parent.' I've been kind of waiting for a big one, but I don't know if I'll have a big one. I think it will be more like a bunch of little ones that add up."

And right now he's reading this and cursing me because he's certain that I will share the details of his "Oh WOW" moment. However, he did specifically say to me, "Now you can't go putting this on the blog" just as I was thinking how perfect the material was. But, I did promise him I wouldn't. So, I just wanted to share enough to say, I think we're both gradually having more and more of our own "Oh WOW" moments.

Last night as I was trying to fall asleep Tot was kicking so hard that it literally made me kick my own legs in response - like at the doctor's office when they tap your knee with the rubber triangle. On the cartoons, of course, the entire lower leg always kicks a full 90 degrees upwards. I definitely thought I was doing something wrong the first time that "test" was included in a doctor's visit and I did not have a feeling of need to kick my leg up. Besides, I would have kicked THE DOCTOR.

Anyway. I kicked my legs like that last night. Not 90 degrees, but I jumped. And smiled and kind of laughed at the same time. In bed, in the dark. I just couldn't get over how strong our little Tot has gotten!

Nate is also getting to feel these kicks with more and more regularity. Whenever we get a kick while his hand is on my belly, our eyes bug out at the same time as if to say, "Was that what I think it was?" and, "That IS what you thought it was!" We don't want to speak or move for fear of making a change that will stop Tot's movements.

For some reason, I haven't been able to get the heartbeat with our Home Heart Monitor as easily as I did the first time I tried it. I promise we'll figure out how to record it once we find it again, though. I guess it gets more clear at about 28 weeks. Which is NOT that far away.

I also wanted to report on a successful trip to BabyLand. We stayed "focused" as Nate wanted, "just on the major things that we have to try out and compare and stuff." Done. So now we'll be doing more research, tweaking the list and adding more of the little things... but for now it's a start.

For me, BabyLand followed spending a morning in a baby-sitting role for my two youngest siblings. We spent most of our time at the jungle gym in a nearby park. They played and I supervised while chatting with the other parents on the sidelines (of course, Dad and Lus, I played with the kids, too). One mom was a fellow beading friend who I haven't seen for a while. Another woman was someone we just struck up conversation with, based on the fact that we had this being-in-charge-of-other-human-beings thing in common. They were talking about which parks and beaches were most kid-friendly, where to find good deals on kid's clothes, and how to best navigate a trip to the grocery store - a piece of information I didn't get until AFTER I took Alex and Lilo to the local Hannaford upon Alex telling me 20 minutes into playground time that he had to go the bathroom. RIGHT! Kids have to go #1 and #2 and you're supposed to ask them if they have to go either or both before you go some place, especially a place without a public restroom within walking distance.

In this grocery store, the bathrooms are, or course, in the far back corner, past the free kids' cookies in the bakery (which I forgot about until we got the skinny on that at the playground afterwards), the live seafood tank complete with Friendly Seafood Guy Who Doesn't Mind Taking the Crabs and Lobsters Out of the Tank So the Kids Can Either Pet Them or Run Away Screaming, then onwards past aisle endcaps of chips and soda for a tempting 10:00 am snack, and finally the restrooms, which of course we couldn't all go into the same one together, what with both sexes being present, and Alex is too much of a big boy to compromise his big boy self by going into the women's room. Clearly, as he pointed out to me by the sign of the person with a triangle for a lower half, he could NOT go in that room. So next was the juggling of who's going in, when, and how much help they need, and of course washing your hands with PLENTY of good-smelling soap. When I realized that I should go, too, Lilo joined me in the ladies room, outside the stall, and asked me during my 90 seconds in there: "How are you doing, Nicky?" Cutest quote ever.

Anyway - both the BabyLand excursion and my morning as a pseudo-parent were chock full of great Oh WOW moments and primo blog material, but as Nate said, you can't put EVERYTHING on the blog... especially if you have a job to keep and sleep to get.

So with that,
enjoy the 25 and a half-week belly pic...
and stay tuned for colorful descriptions of what it feels like to maneuver around with this soccer ball for a midsection these days. Let's just say I'm not feeling like I am at my most graceful as of late. Because, you know, normally I am all about the grace.

Nicky and Nate
25 weeks 4 days

Baker's Dozen

"You're making me look like a real dink on the blog, there."

This is Nate's way of telling me he's read the latest entry.

"I'm sorry, did I mis-quote you?"

"Well, you took it out of context."

Context? Umm, you basically said my boobs were not as big as big as you might have expected as a side-perk, if you will, to this whole pregnancy deal.

Sure, I'm just as bummed as you are that we have not been "visited by the Titty Fairy" as one of the husbands in The Girlfriend's Guide to Pregnancy refers to the condition of being pregnant. But jeez, man, do me a favor and hide it a little better, will ya?

Really, I'm not losing sleep over it. The most entertaining part of this exchange for me, besides the fact that it inspired a verbal reaction from Nate about the blog, was that he used the word "dink". We've been together for darn near a baker's dozens' worth of years, and I don't know if I've heard him say "dink" before. And the first several years were college years. You know, the crass party years when you're living on your own without supervision, so to make the most of it, you bring back bad words you first learned in middle school and use them just because you can. You know they sound elementary but they're just so ridiculous you can't help using them, especially when you see how much it makes your friends crack up. Oh wait, not everyone did that? Just Nicky and the guys? Oh- Well then; ahem... I promise I'll try to keep them to a minimum. Although, it's a little too late now, having used "boob" and "titty" in the past couple of entries. But technically, I WAS QUOTING OTHER PEOPLE.

Baker's dozen is also a fun phrase to use but for different reasons. A) It makes me feel like I have an advanced command of the English language B) It makes you stop for about .3 seconds to make sure you know how many a baker's dozen is so that you can follow along with the conversation and C) for some reason it makes me think of a jolly round pastry chef with a puffy white hat holding a box of 13 glazed donuts - the kind with pink icing and sprinkles, that I wouldn't actually like the taste of, but have always thought look pretty.

Okay I hope you've enjoyed this segment of "Nicky's Active Procrastination of OTP Activities".

This weekend we're headed to Babies'R'Us, or "Babyland" as Nate calls it, to immerse ourselves in the foreign world of baby stuff. I will need to keep reminding myself that I'm not there to get stuff for someone else's baby... it's really and truly to look at stuff for OUR baby... holy moly.

Nicky and Nate
25 weeks 1 day

I know what you're thinking...

"When are your boobs going to get bigger??"
Don't worry - Nate already asked me that a while ago.

"I mean, they kind of did at first, a little bit, but then they, like, stopped."

There's nothing like having a 9 pound weight gain that has all gone to the belly region to make me feel even smaller in the chest region than I already did.

You just wait, buddy. Fill these girls up with milk and you'll see what they're really capable of.

Nicky and Nate
24 weeks 5 days

p.s. - OTP (Operation Tot Prep) is finally underway.
Seeing that my cousin Jess, who is due AFTER me, has registered at FOUR places has definitely inspired me to get on the ball.
And you thought I was the queen of to-do lists before OTP...

A busy July indeed

I'll attempt to redeem myself from being the worst wife, sister, and friend ever by including a few much belated pictures of what I've been up to lately:

Nate's birthday was earlier this month,
his sister came from San Francisco to visit,
and my sister got married.




This is my sister Emi and her new husband Duncan dancing to their special song.....








... a priceless picture of my sister Leigh and brother Alex at the wedding,





... and Nate being ever-so-barely covered up by a onesie that his sister Kara gave him for his birthday.
The text says: "My dad recycles more than your dad."



Kara has recently gotten engaged to a wonderful guy we will soon call Uncle Ravi :)
and we had a chance to get a picture of her and some of her bridesmaids while spending the day in Southport this weekend.


So, no these aren't necessarily the best representative pictures of every event and everyone, but they're what I have in the meantime.

Aunt Kara and Uncle Ravi also gave us another book to add to Tot's collection:
Good Night San Francisco, featuring a picture of them at the end of the book, so Tot will know where they live.
Nate's mom also got us a Baby Heart Monitor device thing - kind of like the doppler at the midwives' office, but you can also make a recording of the sounds and send it by e-mail. So, once we figure that technology out, we'll be sharing with any interested family and friends.

Somewhere in there, I slept a little bit...
but again, it's all part of the season of family and friend get-togethers, and I'm thankful to have had the time and energy to do so.

Nicky and Nate
24 weeks tomorrow
I know, I know,
Time to start making the Operation-Get-Ready-for-Baby-List.
AKA the OGRB List.
And then doing something with the list.
Besides doodling in the margins and daydreaming about non-baby-related projects I could be doing...

No autographs, please... I'm just pregnant

Aunt Punchy and my sisters can attest to the fact that I am not the most savvy conversationalist when it comes to latest particulars of Hollywood celebrities. They keep up with People and Us magazines and could tell you the very latest of who has been seen with whom and what they were wearing to the Oscars, or the Academys, or the Shirleys, or whatever. Sure, if the magazines are in front of me, I'll look at them. The chances greatly increase if Matthew Mcconaughey is on the cover. But I don't go to great lengths to seek out the info. (Although that was a nice interlude while I had to search for the PERFECT picture of him to include in this entry. I mean, I don't want to have any confusion out there of what he looks like. I'm glad I could help you better understand.)

So anyway - I don't know what to do with this recent feeling that I, myself, have become a bit of a celebrity. Surely, you think, I must have done something worthy of such admiration, like discovering a cure for the common cold, or devising the perfect solution for new mothers wrestling with the thoughts and realities of working outside the home vs. staying at home, or developing the technology needed to simply transfer ones thoughts into instant blog format, instead of laboring for embarrassingly long stretches of time per entry.

But no. Like Hollywood celebrities, I am fawned over just for being me. Everything about me is SOOOO interesting and adorable. In my case, my rise to fame started when my belly started getting bigger due to the fact that I am growing a human being inside of me. I sport a "Baby Bump" if you will.

I notice the effects of my new celebrity standing most at work, since I'm at different sites on certain days of the week, so there are some people that I only see once or twice a week. I'm certain that these absences make the hearts grow fonder, so people are all the more smitten when they actually experience a "Nicky sighting".

The interactions usually start with a doe-eyed expression that takes over their face, a giddy smile, tilted head, and a musical ring in their voice, "Hi Nicky! How ARE you?" most often followed by a belly check that breaks eye contact ever so briefly. If it's more than a passing-in-the-hall encounter, there's usually time for Fashion Commentary, and the assurance to me that I am looking "Absolutely adorable" or that my belly, specifically, looks "Soooo cute!" And that I am "The Cutest Pregnant Woman Ever!"

People also go to great lengths to attend to my physical, nutritional, and personal safety needs.

I am not allowed to lift or hold any object weighing over 2.5 lbs., or stand for too long. I am usually offered healthy alternatives to whatever is being served, "So the baby gets the nutrients it needs!" but also am given the slack to indulge in anything that is less than Best Odds Diet approved, because they want to "Give the pregnant lady what she wants!" and to assure me to "Listen to my body!" I am even asked prior to social engagements where food is being prepared if I have any food cravings or aversions.

My sister Leigh commented that she feels like she needs to strictly adhere to the speed limit while I'm a passenger in her car. (I mean, not that she doesn't normally do that anyway, Mom and Dad.) She has done a good job at exasperating drivers following us by doing so. She takes her Auntly Responsibilities very seriously.

I'm just glad I got in some spackling from atop the refrigerator at Nate's family's cottage in Southport while I could get away with it.

MEANWHILE, my dear husband decided a few weeks ago was a good time to rip out the front steps because they were an eyesore (and rotting and getting a good layer of moss on the outdoor carpet that covered them). He determined that he really needed to do that - to rip out the steps and go WITHOUT FRONT STEPS before that he could properly assess what to do next. You know, REALLY think about it. Mull it over. Consider the possibilities. Plan to make a plan. Shop around. Look at other people's front steps.

Well, you say. He must have rigged up SOMETHING in the meantime until the rest of the plan was decided upon and executed, right? I mean, what with a pregnant wife and all, RIGHT??

We should be so lucky. He must have decided that we really needed to have a COMPLETE ABSENCE of front steps in order to best determine what to do next. So, for about a week and a half, we, and anyone who visited us, had to step up about TWO FEET and grab the porch door frame to hoist ourselves up in order to get into the house, and then JUMP out the door to get out.

So, you ask, WHAT WAS IT that finally motivated him to at least put a temporary step in the place of the old ones? His Hollywood Celebrity wife, right??

We should be so lucky.

No, what did it was the notice from the mail person stating that he would not deliver our mail until the safety hazard was de-hazardized. Well, wouldn't you know it, a make-shift step appeared within 24 hours. Because if there's one thing we value above all else in this household, it's getting our L.L.Bean catalogs and department store sale flyers on time.

I didn't write about this during the fact because I was certain that I'd get a really hilarious, blog-worthy story to tell about how his pregnant wife forgot about the lack of front step while rushing out the door in the morning after a sleepless, crazy dream-filled night, and wiped out, hot coffee scalding her previously glowing pregnancy face while twisting her not-yet-puffy ankles and bouncing off of her pregnant belly and rolling down the hill over her herbs and burning her eyes in the chili peppers that she so lovingly planted for her husband 6 weeks ago.

But no.
Instead I was able to use it as contrast to the extra-special treatment that I get EVERYWHERE else. Thanks for contributing in your own special way, Honey.

Okay, in case anyone's interested, I'm going to shower now that it's 11:45 and work my celebrity magic on this couldn't-be-a-mop-if-it-tried that is my hair, put together a deli-meat sandwich, take my prenatal vitamins with Britta water, and go see a movie with Aunt Punchy. I will not disclose what movie, since I'm just not up for the paparazzi today. Or however you spell that.

I'll most likely be wearing borrowed Old Navy maternity jeans, and layering an Old Navy maternity t-shirt with a non-maternity hip-length sweater that I'm determined to wear as long as I can.
Until next time,
Nicky and Nate
22 weeks 6 days
Ciao, Baby

That's a good question...

The same 5-year-old sister who asked Nate this winter, "Why is your nose so big? Why does it have a bump, right there?" (pointing to the distinguished architecture of his profile) asked me yesterday:

"Does the baby fart in your belly?"

As well as:
"Is the baby farting in your belly?"
"Can the baby fart in your belly?"
"Does the baby fart in your belly when you fart?"

Now hold it right there. I do not fart.

My little sister and brother, and oh yeah, Dad and step mom, are back in the states, living 4 miles down the road.
After traveling for almost 2 days, they made it in last night. We visited the jet-lagged family within 2 hours of them arriving, and instead of being tired, cranky kids, they were off-the-wall energetic and entertaining. Lilo showed us how she can burp the alphabet. Alex engineered a marble obstacle course, or worked on "saving the world" as Nate put it based on the concentration he gave to the project.

I'm guessing Nate's pretty thankful for this baby distraction so that Lilo will let up on the nose issue. At least for a while.

And if the baby ends up getting Nate's nose, hopefully Lilo will be a little kinder to her niephew.

Nate and Nicky
22 weeks
Happy 4th of July!

Twenty One

You know how I mentioned in my "love for all seasons" entry that summer is a busy time for family and friend get togethers? Well, we've been right in the thick of it lately. Good times. But yes, it does cut into my all-or-nothing blog entry writing style. I apologize to all of you who may have been concerned by the absence of blog entries!

The highlight of late was my sister Emi's bachelorette party, otherwise known as the "BBBP": Biker Babe Bachelorette Party. Of course it was a themed bachelorette party: Mathieu sisters were planning it. And what better theme to bring together a bunch of women than "Biker Babe" to celebrate Emi being one herself. We donned temporary tattoos and some choice threads in hopes of bringing out the Biker Babe in each of us. And then went out in public.

It was a proper bachelorette party, complete with games involving, food items resembling, and drinks named after male anatomy parts.

And I was JUST about to post a group picture when I noticed that our background includes one of the aforementioned games with some rather distracting visuals. To protect the innocent, I will refrain from doing so. Instead I'll feature a picture of one of my temporary tats. Hey, when you've got it, flaunt it!

Cute Nate Moments:
(And if he's embarrassed to read about these or feels the need to clarify, he can write his own blog entry in case I've misrepresented him.)

He almost always makes a special trip upstairs to say goodbye to me in the morning before he leaves for work, as I'm often still in bed. Last week he literally reached under me as I was laying on my side/stomach facing away from him, just to rub the belly as if to say goodbye to Tot, too.

He also took it upon himself, without my knowledge, to e-mail our friend Amy to ask her for a real-life, Mainer's estimate of initial baby-related expenses as opposed to the national averages that are mentioned in all the books and websites. Like a truly responsible father-and-provider-to-be.

And one final highlight from Mr. Take Charge - HE leaned over to kiss ME in the car as I dropped him off at work after our ultrasound appointment. INITIATED a kiss. Moved in for the big one. Planted one on me. I didn't know if he suddenly had some abdominal cramp that was compelling him to lean over in my direction, or what. But whatever came over him, it was okay with me.

Dream update: asd;lkfjqpoeiwtudfkjgbn:L
uzsdkbv:SDZM;l'asfopiaerhgdfkaljsf;lakdjfpoiqwenfsbm
kl ;aoeirutdskf;gna;lkdsgja;a;lksdjfpoiua rjkh!

In other words, too many dreams to list. And again, yes, I'm always tired in the morning.

I gratefully update our reading library list with books from Aunt Emi and Aunt Punchy:
Daddy Cuddles
Mommy Loves
The Very Hungry Caterpillar
Mary Engelbreit's Mother Goose
The Rainbow Fish
Only You
Finding Nemo

Good Night Maine
Clifford - The Little Flower Seed
It's Raining Pigs and Noodles
Big Red Barn
The Tiny Seed
Snowmen at Christmas
Little Quack's New Friend
Does a Kangaroo Have a Mother, Too?
Schoolyard Rynes
From Head to Toe

Thanks again, ladies. Nate can't WAIT to read to Tot. :)

Musings:
To our sisters, Tot could be considered their "Niephew"
And to our cats, Tot is their "Broster"

And finally, for those of you who just can't get enough of the pregnancy-talk, the latest milestone is really and truly feeling movement. We're still working on Nate building up the patience to keep his hand over my belly long enough to feel it himself. But I'd say for the past 2-3 weeks, I've grown increasingly confident in identifying these odd sensations as true baby kicks and flips.
And in case some of you noticed the subtleties of our dating, the ultrasound put us at 19 weeks 0 days, which lined up with my original figuring of the dating. So, I'm going back to Wednesdays being the beginning of each new week, which makes today TWENTY ONE (21) weeks.

YOWZERS!

Father Moments

I gotta say, holiday observances like these really take on a whole new meaning once you're LITERALLY in the middle of a countdown toward a new reality that includes you as a parent.

Yes, I made Nate a card for Father's Day, and my gift to him was that we wouldn't find out the sex of our baby until he or she is born. I know, not very imaginative. But an equivalent to what he gave me last month.

We "kid-sat" for friends of ours on Friday night. They oh-so-helpfully dropped off their 5 year-old son with a backpack of toys, knowing that our house is quite bare in the way of items specifically for kids. I mean, I'm sure we could have used our imaginations and figured something out, but it was a nice back up. We spent the first couple of hours at the park, playing on the playground and playing "soccer ball" as Brennan calls it.

Well, mostly Nate and Brennan played soccer ball while Nicky sat lazily on the slide and watched. It was beyond cute to see that Brennan clearly had a thing for Nate. He accidentally called Nate "Daddy" TWICE while playing soccer ball. We all had a good laugh when we realized his slip of the tongue. I melted a little inside.

So:
Who read a book with him?
Nicky.
And who put bandaids on his knee after a playground spill?
Nicky.
BUT who, according to Brennan, always got the first guess for "I Spy With My Little Eye?"
Nate.
And who did he lay next to on the couch to watch the baseball game at the end of the night?
Nate.
If I'd known they would have both cooperated, I would have taken a picture of that moment. But I didn't want to mess with the moment, so I'll just tuck it away in the vault that is my mind.

It occured to me that I am married to a man that will become a dad in a few short months (okay, I'm sure at some point they will seem never-ending. But that's beside the point). I've been with him for over 12 years, have never known him to babysit (on his own), take any dad-training courses, or read any parenting books. "My Boys Can Swim!" doesn't count because it's only about the pregnancy.
So how will he change from "Regular Guy" (I mean, "Amazing Stud", of course) into "Dad"?

At one point on the playground he said, "5 is a pretty active age. It's a good thing you get to build up to it."

I guess that's exactly what he'll do.

His mom gave him a very cool book called "Dad and Me" which is like a baby book in which you write in the story of the pregnancy and baby's firsts, but is also meant to document things about the dad so his kid learns about him. There's also lots of spaces for the dad and kid to write and draw things they like to do together, so it's something that will be used for a few years. He said, "I have to fill this stuff in, by hand?" Meaning, he hates writing long hand - he prefers to type. Hey, maybe he can type and cut and paste. In any case, it's a cool book. He also said something to the effect that he should get started on it - there's a lot to fill in. I think it will be so cool once it's all done.

I talked to my dad this morning, although it was later in the evening for him. I just can't help looking at him differently now, realizing that he, too, was a Regular Guy at one time, and somewhere along the way became "Dad". Meaning he did things like changing diapers, holding us when we cried whether it was from a boo boo or just from being tired, telling us to "rub it" if something hurt (unless we were actually bleeding), making root beer floats, making stilts, a swing, and teeter totter among countless other things in his woodworking shop, telling "Eerie Weerie" ghost stories, telling us stories of his own childhood, even the ones we'd heard 17 times already, teaching us to take care of what we have - especially anything made of wood, teaching us "Old Indian Tricks" and how to make a Morning Dove call with our hands, playing the guitar and singing made-up-songs like "There Was a Beautiful Girl Named Nicky", working during the day and sharing stories of his day over dinner, making big family breakfasts even though, or maybe because, I hated waking up any earlier than necessary as a teenager, teaching us to drive, telling me that his job as a parent was to set limits, and my job as a teenager was to push them, and talking with me about drinking in college. And oh yeah, the birth control talk that consisted of: "Use Aspirin. Put it between your knees and keep it there." Classic.

On an unrelated note, he told me about a woman at work who's also due in November, so he's been able to see where she's at in the pregnancy and figure that I'm pretty much the same. A cute connection. He'll get to see for himself soon enough when he and his wife return to the States with my two youngest siblings. My adult sisters and I give him a hard time that the younger ones get a number of things that we didn't get growing up, but I HAVE seen him use the "Rub it" line on them, too. Now that's a timeless piece of father advice.

I'll close with a belly pic, even though it's only been one week since the last one. I just had to capture the phenomenon that I had heard of which is called "popping".

Nicky and Nate
19 weeks 4 days
Happy Father's Day

Okay Go ahead and make these pictures dirty!!

Really now, people. We honestly, innocently thought that including Tot's "Thumbs Up" picture was just a cute, CLEAN image to share with you all. Who would have thought, as our friend Seth stated in his comment, that the grandmothers-to-be would be the ones to infuse our blog with such "colorful" interpretations of our baby's thumbs up gesture!!

Well, have fun with this next one, that I've titled "Our Alien Baby". I know, it's a little disturbing. But it looks like a healthy skeletal system, doesn't it?

And the other picture, that Nate titled "Kickboxer".



And now, my dreams from last night.
There were so many it's hard to remember them all. But what sticks out is:

It was stormy and my co-worker Susan was driving my car for some reason, and trying to park it in the snow while driving 30 miles an hour, on the street in Sanford where I grew up. Like, she was swerving all over the street and not using the breaks to try to stop - she just figured she'd crash into the snowbank and the car would turn off. But then we were told there was a parking ban because of plowing, so she took off to park my car somewhere else, and there was the sense that if she didn't find a place to park, she'd just drive around till morning. In the meantime, I was standing in the middle of the street wondering where the heck I should go, since I didn't actually LIVE on this street anymore.

Then Nate and I were in the house of friends of ours - his old co-worker Josh and his wife Sarah, who we did actually visit last night, as they just moved to Hallowell and are walking distance from our place. There was a sense that they had invited us over, but then had to leave or something, so we were in their house by ourselves. Then night came, and we noticed someone else was in the house. It was the previous owner, but he was delusional and became angry when he discovered that we were in what he thought was still HIS house - so he came after us and was chasing us, trying to either chase us out of the house, or kill us. But instead of just running away, we were trying to stay in the house, so Josh and Sarah didn't come home to this delusional angry man who would then try to kill them.

Then, and I WISH I was making this up, I dreamed that my mother-in-law was either personally trying to kill me, or had hired someone else to do it, because I had changed my mind about not wanting to know the sex of our baby. I am fully aware that this sounds like a load of you-know-what. But I could not be more serious that I actually dreamt this.

And finally, I dreamed that Nate wrote a blog entry. Just a paragraph, but still. He hadn't told me he was going to do it - I just logged on to write an entry one day, and, buried in one of my lengthy posts, was a paragraph that he had written and slipped in there himself. Novel.

That was all last night. Yes, I am tired in the morning. I am always tired in the morning. I hate mornings. I had never thought about the fact that maybe these dreams are keeping me from restful sleep until I started sharing them with so many people, and being asked so frequently if I feel rested when I wake up, because of these crazy, lengthy, plot-twisted (and just plain twisted) dreams. You may all be on to something there.

Last but not least, I am sending a very Happy 5th Birthday wish to my YOUNGEST sister, Lilo. Nate asked what we got her, and I said, "an e-mail"... because that's what I've been doing for observances and holidays like that on account of her living in a time-zone 8+ hours away. But not for long, as she and a few other key people in my family are moving to the United States in just a few short weeks. How wild it will be for them to live so close to us - and for Tot to have an aunt and uncle who are more like playmates, once our little one gets to be more play-able.

So, HAPPY BIRTHDAY, LILO!


Nicky and Nate
19 weeks 1 day
canyouevenbelieveit

Drum Roll Please.....

I know our track record with announcements and updates may have lead some of you to have a difficult time taking us seriously, or believing what you're reading (as in the case of the holiday letters in years past). I am fully aware of this as I write the following sentence.

We did NOT find out the sex of the baby today.

I swear to,... well, I swear on,... well, I just swear. We didn't.

Take all the time you need to read the above text over as many times as you need. The blog will still be here.

And when you're ready, the rest of the story:

I found myself nearing this appointment feeling like it was SO EARLY to be finding out this information, and that we had reached almost "half way through this thing" already and I had gotten used to the ambiguity. I have only JUST started to show, and perHAPS started to feel movement. I'm pretty sure it hasn't all been gas. So, to feel like we're just starting the exciting stuff, to "suddenly" get what could feel like HUGE, pregnancy-changing news, was just feeling overwhelming.

My reasons for wanting to know earlier were that, especially because I had been feeling so fine and normal thus far, I felt like knowing the sex would help a.) make the pregnancy feel more "real" to me, and b.) help me "bond" with the baby better with the additional information.

But those reasons have begun to be addressed by: a.) starting to "pop" lately and look more pregnant ( a trip to Old Navy maternity also helped scratch that itch - AND fill a very real need, of course, Dear), and b.) the VERY beginning of feeling movement... it's still at the stage where I'm not sure if it's my imagination, but it will become more and more noticeable in the next few weeks. And if that doesn't make the pregnancy feel more real, and promote bonding, I don't know what would.

If only I could describe the look in Nate's eyes last night when I admitted these self-doubts of my earlier desire. Oh, did he pounce on that. With the help of a couple of gin and tonics. We had an interesting discussion about the whole thing.

So, blame it on me for changing my mind. Or blame it on Nate for not wanting to know the sex in the first place. We apologize for the roller-coaster ride that we have put you all through. Hate mail can be sent via public blog comment, e-mail, or snail mail. ;)

To distract you with a light story, I'll share that I received THE MOST excited reaction ever from a non-family member or friend today: my dental hygenist, Courtney. I think I've been seeing her twice a year for 3 or 4 years now, and of course these cleaning visits include the requisite personal and family updates. Each visit starts out with the question of any new medical updates, so with a big grin I informed her that I was pregnant. Well you should have seen and heard her excitement. I don't know how many times she told me her cheeks were hurting from smiling so much, even when I couldn't see that she was smiling from underneath her face mask.

And let me tell you, carrying on a conversation while getting your teeth cleaned is a feat in and of itself, even when it's just the occassional comment about the weather, holidays, or vacation plans. But to try to talk about a new, first pregnancy with someone who is so excited for you she is literally oozing smiley faces onto your paper dental bib while manipulating metal instruments in your mouth, is really something else. It was so much fun. The more excited she got, the more excited I got. I hadn't even been THAT excited about our pregnancy since... well, anytime I've shared the news with someone new, it's been a nice rush.

My next visit will be in December, when I will be a PARENT (!!!!!), not worrying about scheduling my appointment around my work schedule since I'll be out on maternity leave, but needing to arrange childcare for my dental cleaning. Anyone free on the morning of Wednesday December 19th? Anyone? :)

Courtney was bummed that she wouldn't get to see my growing belly (I know, isn't that the coolest part of any pregnancy?) so I told her I'd bring pictures with me in December. And oh yeah, probably some pics of the tot, too :) But I couldn't help leaving the blog address with her so that she could see the belly pics so far, and read about how much her excitement made my morning. And so she'd finally be mentioned in a blog, since she said she's only appeared once in one of her many friends-with-kids blogs.

Okay, getting back to our appointment today. Once again, everything went well. Which, again, neurotic me is NOT taking for granted.

I'd say our baby summed up the status of things with the VERY FIRST image that appeared on the ultrasound - I swear:


Thumbs up!

Yes, he/she has a healthy body and head and working organs. More pictures next time.
Nicky and Nate
19 weeks