It hurts me more than it hurts him...

And he knows it. Let's face it: I'm weak. I'm trying to be strong by not posting anything while I have this standoff with Nate, but I'm having fabulous dreams and thinking of all kinds of great pregnancy stuff to write about. I'm sorry to be depriving you the pleasure of such reading.

I've had so many dreams in the past few days I simply can't remember them all, but a couple were:
I was going to take part in a music jamming session with friends, at the auditorium at Maranacook high school. Our friend Harley was on drums, and one other faceless person was playing the keyboard or something. I was going to play the banjo, as I had miraculously advanced my banjo playing skill without practicing a lick in over a year, and was good enough to be participating in a jam. But as we were getting set up, a bunch of other musicians started showing up, and I could tell that they were all going to be really good, and then I looked down and my banjo had turned into a guitar. At first I thought, well how different can they be, I'll just JAM - improvise - I'm sure it will come to me! But reality set in and I thought, Nicky you're crazy, don't make a fool of yourself in front of these people, and mess up the whole jam session! So I excused myself and woke up.

Another one was that there was some kind of hip-hop, breakdancing dance-off as part of a block party in some urban neighborhood in Detroit or New York or something. And I didn't realize the common thread here until I started typing it, but I was somehow entered into this dance-off even though I had never done any breakdancing in my life. I guess I thought I could improvise the hip-hop part, though. I think I danced some, all in-the-middle-of-a-big-circle and everything, and some of it was good, but some of it was very unfortunate in a way that made people think, "Wow that white girl must be very lost. Some friend must have played a cruel joke on her by putting her name in this competition."

And there you have it.
oh yeah -
15 weeks 5 days