For those of you who ran out to your nearest office supply store in search of the largest size possible red permanent marker, so big you have to use two hands to hold it, in order to mark your calendars when I mentioned the date of our next prenatal appointment, and then realized you would need an equally sized GREEN marker with which to note the countdown of days and/or hours unTIL the appointment,... I have come to you with an update.
Yesterday I saw one of the OBs at the practice that I am in love with, as mentioned in the Hey, Where’s My Free Personal Razor? blog entry of Wednesday, April 4.
Short version: All is well.
Nicky version / Commentary:
I've been afraid that so far, the midwives and now this OB may think that I'm a simultaneous cross between being neurotic about and uninterested in my pregnancy. I've had no real symptoms to speak of, besides the breast tenderness, which stopped somewhere around 14 weeks. This brought out the neurotic side. I had to go on-line to confirm that that IS normal to stop at around that time. While, of course, I was happy to be able to give bear hugs again without the breast tenderness, and not have to muckle on to my aforementioned upperbody parts as I went down any flight of stairs (I know - picture little Nicky taking such comfort measures), I had an extended moment of panic when my only real symptom of pregnancy was gone. Yes, I was getting a little thicker around the middle, and no, I hadn't had a period since the end of January. But still... shouldn't I be feeling SOMEthing else a little more dramatic than this??
Then there's been my lack of questions for them at my appointments, which I can only imagine makes them wonder, "Isn't this woman at all curious about what's happening to her body and her baby??" But, I read a lot on line, in books, and in magazines, that I figure I don't need to bother them with questions that I can just find the answer to on my own, and find it immediately as opposed to waiting until the next monthly appointment. I'm sure I'll have more questions as things progress, right??
But back to the neurotic side: The only thing I really needed to get out of yesterday's appointment, whether they were planning on doing it or not, was to hear the heartbeat with the Doppler device. Just to make sure that I haven't been dreaming this whole time (that would be one for Nicky's dream books), and that I really did have an active "tot" in there, as Nate says.
So, the OB obliged me (I'm guessing it would have been routine to do it anyway), and it took a little bit of time searching to get a clear sound, approximately 4 hours according to my sense of time. During this time I stared at the ceiling thinking, "This is when she's going to tell me there's no heartbeat. I will have seen this coming. I haven't been feeling pregnant. I can take it. Then she'll really be perplexed when I don't immediately start bawling because I'll just be so numb..." and then she FINALLY said - "It is there, it just keeps moving on me"... and then she settled on a spot and we heard 140 beats per minute. SIGH......................... She also explained that the background "swooshing" sound was the sound of the baby moving around. WILD.
As she was talking to me afterwards, I became aware that I had taken the lower-half fabric drape off of my lap, as I was wearing a long dress anyway and didn't really need it, and was folding it as she was talking. It was a big square, that I folded in half. And then in half again. And in half again. And again. It ended up being personal-towlette-sized, and I realized, I am unable to un-do that little spectacle of neurosis that I just performed in front of her. We are ending the visit on that note and she thinks I am a complete freak.
But I got over that just as soon as we set up my next appointment, otherwise known as the, drumroll please... 20-WEEK ULTRASOUND APPOINTMENT! And seeing as how I was over16 and a half weeks at yesterday's appointment, she suggested scheduling the next one for 3 weeks from then, so I'd be over 19 and a half, or PRACTICALLY 20 weeks. But THEN, due to summer vacation schedules, and needing to have a doctor and an ultrasound tech available on the same day for this appointment, they had to MOVE IT UP A WEEK, so the date we settled on was a mere TWO WEEKS from yesterday!!!!!!!! Meaning 1 week and 6 days from today!!! And today's practically over with, so it's close enough to ONE WEEK AND FIVE DAYS, which is 1-5, or 15, which is the date in January of my birthday!!!! Which must have some kind of COSMIC MEANING, which-- okay, okay, I'll stop. But needless to say, I don't know how I could have possibly expressed my excitement of such a fast-approaching ultrasound appointment without the use of the CAPS LOCK feature on my keyboard. And EXCLAMATION MARKS!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
I am now in particular love with the front desk scheduling lady for rigging up such a sweet appointment date for me. I'll have to find out when her birthday is. And what her favorite flower is.
As I was walking to my car, I was so excited when I reached into my purse to call Nate with the update that instead of my cell phone, I pulled out my credit card, looked at it for a second, then realized that I wouldn't be able to call him very well with that object. Yes, I drove myself to work safely.
So if you haven't done so already, you have another chance to run out and go get your new, full-of-ink permanent markers with which to note June 13th as the next milestone in this trip we call my pregnancy.
Until next month,
This is
Nicky and Nate
16 weeks 6 days
Thursday, May 31, 2007
Monday, May 28, 2007
Would you LOOK at this thing?!?
It's eNORMous!!
Especially when compared to 2 weeks ago:
Once again, I didn't think I would notice that much of a difference, but figured I'd take a picture anyway, since I had reached my 2-week interval. (I haven't felt like weekly pics at this early stage in the game would be very exciting, so I've been doing every other week.)
I guess Chester's supposed to double in size and weight in the next three weeks - so the pictures should get even MORE interesting than the time lapse portraits of my midsection to date!! Don't blink or you may miss the drama that is my torso.
I love that this week's belly picture features me wearing the outfit that I wore every day of this GLORIOUS three day weekend, with the exception of forcing myself to shower and put on something a little more acceptable for a family gathering on Sunday. Oh, the humanity. Of getting out of my elastic waist shorts and taking a break from gardening. No, really, it was a very lovely Butler family get-together. I did, however, take a slightly early exit so that I could go to Longfellow's greenhouse before they closed for the second out of three trips this three-day weekend to refill my gardening needs. I am working on overcoming my guilt for not staying to help bag up leftovers and wash the tupperware. Next time I will, really, next time.
I was so aware all weekend of how lucky I am to be where I'm at right now. We're in the beginning of a busy summer season of family and friend reunions and celebrations; and while that has the potential to bring stress, albeit the good kind, I'm reminded that the root of these get-togethers are connecting with each other.
I'm thankful to have the amount of free time that I have these days, even with work and other obligations. I'm already thinking ahead to how we will handle the Memorial Day weekend garden-planting task next year while juggling a 6-month-old. But I look forward to sharing the outdoors with our little one.
I LOVE LOVE LOVE our gigantic white lilac trees that are just outside our kitchen window and next to our deck. And when we set the fan up at night in our bedroom, it delivers that amazing lilac smell right into our noses. Makes it easier to get out of bed in the morning.
I've had this realization over the past year or so, that I really love seasons. Good thing for me, living in Maine and all. But that's the thing. I'm not just "enduring" the seasons anymore. And it's even more than having "made peace" with them. I've come to really appreciate them, each for their own merits. I mean, we have these 4 distinct times of year, all with their pros and cons, that impose / offer a sense of what kinds of things to do based on what time of year it is. To take advantage of where you're at at the time, knowing that before you know it, another season and all that comes with it will be upon you.
Like in the Fall: drying herbs and canning vegetables. Apple picking. Making apple crisp. Apple bread. Apple Gumbo. Wearing turtlenecks and wool sweaters again. Going for walks and smelling the smoke from people's wood stoves being used again after months of dormancy.
In the Winter: making Christmas gifts and visiting up the wazoo. Enjoying that first beautiful snowfall (even if it's in February, according to this past season). Snowshoeing. Relishing time to yourself once the holiday craziness has passed. Hand-sewing and actually baking. My new favorite holiday: Mardi Gras!
In the Spring: enthusiastic and determined cleaning and organizing as a result of cabin fever. In-door painting projects as soon as you can start opening the windows for ventilation. Beading projects that are not gifts.
In the summer: camping, hiking, rollerblading, gardening, doing anything possible outside for as long as possible until the sun sets. Cold pasta salad and cucumber sandwiches. And ice cream. Lots of ice cream.
Well, these are my seasons, anyway. And I can't wait to experience them along side our son or daughter, and introducing him or her to our corner of the world, and seeing it through their eyes as they notice cool stuff about the world that I haven't noticed for decades, or maybe never did.
I'm thankful for a husband who, at the end of the day, when I could still think of 4 more projects to tackle before bedtime, says "Let's have a fire tonight" - MEANING - (no, that's not code) : let's have a fire in the firepit that he built in our backyard last summer. There's nothing like just sitting around a fire, talking, and watching the flames - even with the more-than-occassional picking up your chair to move when the smoke is aiming directly for your eyes. There's nothing like making "just one more S'more" in effort to perfect the art of marshmallow-toasting this time around. And realizing that a S'more with a less-than-perfectly toasted marshmallow is still a pretty damn good S'more.
And the satisfaction of burning paper in our fire that would have otherwise gone in the trash since Hallowell doesn't recycle office paper. We recently re-did our chart forms at work, and usually when we get new forms, I bring the old one-sided old forms home for using for our printer. But we had some forms recenly that, no matter how open-minded I am, I couldn't bring myself to use for printing. They were the ones used for exams, with pictures of breasts and male and female genitals on which the nurse practitioners make their drawings and exam notes. The thought also crossed my mind to give them to my little brother and sister to draw on when they return next month (you should SEE the paper they go through - they're prolific artists and geniuses!!). But I thought better of the idea. If Dad and Lus are that hard up for paper that they consent to using the "boob sheets" as we call them, I'm sure we'll re-do the forms again soon.
Sorry - I just had to keep this entry from getting too sappy. :)
And speaking of prolific, I HAVE had a number of dreams lately - I'm amazed I remember the percentage of them that I do. But I think I've kept you long enough this time. I've got to save SOMETHING else to talk about in a few days...
Nicky and Nate
16 weeks, 3 days
whowouldathunkit
Wednesday, May 23, 2007
It hurts me more than it hurts him...
And he knows it. Let's face it: I'm weak. I'm trying to be strong by not posting anything while I have this standoff with Nate, but I'm having fabulous dreams and thinking of all kinds of great pregnancy stuff to write about. I'm sorry to be depriving you the pleasure of such reading.
I've had so many dreams in the past few days I simply can't remember them all, but a couple were:
I was going to take part in a music jamming session with friends, at the auditorium at Maranacook high school. Our friend Harley was on drums, and one other faceless person was playing the keyboard or something. I was going to play the banjo, as I had miraculously advanced my banjo playing skill without practicing a lick in over a year, and was good enough to be participating in a jam. But as we were getting set up, a bunch of other musicians started showing up, and I could tell that they were all going to be really good, and then I looked down and my banjo had turned into a guitar. At first I thought, well how different can they be, I'll just JAM - improvise - I'm sure it will come to me! But reality set in and I thought, Nicky you're crazy, don't make a fool of yourself in front of these people, and mess up the whole jam session! So I excused myself and woke up.
Another one was that there was some kind of hip-hop, breakdancing dance-off as part of a block party in some urban neighborhood in Detroit or New York or something. And I didn't realize the common thread here until I started typing it, but I was somehow entered into this dance-off even though I had never done any breakdancing in my life. I guess I thought I could improvise the hip-hop part, though. I think I danced some, all in-the-middle-of-a-big-circle and everything, and some of it was good, but some of it was very unfortunate in a way that made people think, "Wow that white girl must be very lost. Some friend must have played a cruel joke on her by putting her name in this competition."
And there you have it.
oh yeah -
15 weeks 5 days
I've had so many dreams in the past few days I simply can't remember them all, but a couple were:
I was going to take part in a music jamming session with friends, at the auditorium at Maranacook high school. Our friend Harley was on drums, and one other faceless person was playing the keyboard or something. I was going to play the banjo, as I had miraculously advanced my banjo playing skill without practicing a lick in over a year, and was good enough to be participating in a jam. But as we were getting set up, a bunch of other musicians started showing up, and I could tell that they were all going to be really good, and then I looked down and my banjo had turned into a guitar. At first I thought, well how different can they be, I'll just JAM - improvise - I'm sure it will come to me! But reality set in and I thought, Nicky you're crazy, don't make a fool of yourself in front of these people, and mess up the whole jam session! So I excused myself and woke up.
Another one was that there was some kind of hip-hop, breakdancing dance-off as part of a block party in some urban neighborhood in Detroit or New York or something. And I didn't realize the common thread here until I started typing it, but I was somehow entered into this dance-off even though I had never done any breakdancing in my life. I guess I thought I could improvise the hip-hop part, though. I think I danced some, all in-the-middle-of-a-big-circle and everything, and some of it was good, but some of it was very unfortunate in a way that made people think, "Wow that white girl must be very lost. Some friend must have played a cruel joke on her by putting her name in this competition."
And there you have it.
oh yeah -
15 weeks 5 days
Saturday, May 19, 2007
Squirt
I'm not sure what it will take for Nate to submit his own post.
Both of our moms have certainly made it clear that they're dying to hear from him. But I know that the more we beg him, the more he will resist.
He even had the nerve to say earlier today that "things were getting a little stale on our blog" due to the fact that I haven't posted an entry in a few days. Can you believe it?
Maybe I'll just start sharing embarrassing things about HIM instead of just me. If he feels the need to clarify or add "his version" to any of these, so be it. In the meantime, you'll have to guess which things are true and which aren't. Kind of like a little game we played with last year's holiday letter to friends and family.
Like the fact that right now, he's watching a Red Sox game on the couch with his hand down his pants.
And when he leaves for work and comes home each day he picks up our cats and sings them a little song.
And the fact that he fed our friends' kid champagne at the wedding we were at tonight.
And the fact that he instantly gets a nightmare if, during the night, his feet get covered up by the blankets instead of sticking out at the end of the bed. And he wakes up sweating and crying from the nightmare.
And the fact that when I told him I was pregnant, after asking "How does that work?" he stated, "Well that's something I'll have to put on my daily list of things to think about."
And the fact that if his red bouncy ball from childhood that he still plays with (meaning, tosses around while he paces around the house if he's waiting for something, or just for no reason) were to have an unfortunate accident and go missing, he would probably not be able to go on living. I think it would be 1,000% times worse than how distraught he's been since he hasn't been able to find his pipe. Which he's convinced that I misplaced.
And finally, the most popular nickname that came out of the Roast that we did of him last year, with the subtheme of giving him a nickname since he gives everyone else nicknames but was still without one himself, was "Squirt". The meaning of which was to reflect MORE THAN ONE occassion on which he let a little more than gas go in his drawers. And, a personal favorite story of mine, was that when he was a teenager one summer, he and some friends were swimming and floating in the lake, and he had to GO. Like, you know, #2. So his friend Pete said, go for it - it sinks. Well to the mixed company's horror, it didn't sink. It floated. Well, learn something new every day, Squirt.
Both of our moms have certainly made it clear that they're dying to hear from him. But I know that the more we beg him, the more he will resist.
He even had the nerve to say earlier today that "things were getting a little stale on our blog" due to the fact that I haven't posted an entry in a few days. Can you believe it?
Maybe I'll just start sharing embarrassing things about HIM instead of just me. If he feels the need to clarify or add "his version" to any of these, so be it. In the meantime, you'll have to guess which things are true and which aren't. Kind of like a little game we played with last year's holiday letter to friends and family.
Like the fact that right now, he's watching a Red Sox game on the couch with his hand down his pants.
And when he leaves for work and comes home each day he picks up our cats and sings them a little song.
And the fact that he fed our friends' kid champagne at the wedding we were at tonight.
And the fact that he instantly gets a nightmare if, during the night, his feet get covered up by the blankets instead of sticking out at the end of the bed. And he wakes up sweating and crying from the nightmare.
And the fact that when I told him I was pregnant, after asking "How does that work?" he stated, "Well that's something I'll have to put on my daily list of things to think about."
And the fact that if his red bouncy ball from childhood that he still plays with (meaning, tosses around while he paces around the house if he's waiting for something, or just for no reason) were to have an unfortunate accident and go missing, he would probably not be able to go on living. I think it would be 1,000% times worse than how distraught he's been since he hasn't been able to find his pipe. Which he's convinced that I misplaced.
And finally, the most popular nickname that came out of the Roast that we did of him last year, with the subtheme of giving him a nickname since he gives everyone else nicknames but was still without one himself, was "Squirt". The meaning of which was to reflect MORE THAN ONE occassion on which he let a little more than gas go in his drawers. And, a personal favorite story of mine, was that when he was a teenager one summer, he and some friends were swimming and floating in the lake, and he had to GO. Like, you know, #2. So his friend Pete said, go for it - it sinks. Well to the mixed company's horror, it didn't sink. It floated. Well, learn something new every day, Squirt.
Tuesday, May 15, 2007
Terms of Endearment
For those of you previously unaware, Nate has a thing for nicknames. Meaning, in his 30 years, he has been responsible for bestowing wanted and unwanted nicknames on far too many friends and family members to count.
And no, it wasn't him that came up with "Chester", but frankly we just can't resist using it until we know the real deal.
In the meantime, he's been referring to my midsection, and the purpose thereof, as a number of nicknames reflecting the fact that I am housing our baby. The list includes but is not limited to:
Baby House
Baby Condo
Baby Barracks
Baby Yurt
Baby Pup Tent
Baby High Rise
Baby Mansion
Baby Apartment
Baby Castle
Baby Shack
Baby Shanty
We've had a fun time with this list.
Attached picture is of a yurt.
He also called me "Short Stuff" last week, a day or so after I cut my hair. I didn't even get it until he said it a second time, on account of me being a mere 5'3", so I thought he was just referring to my overall height. Duh.
I need to mention another thoughtful Mothers' Day present, from Aunt Punchy again. Since she's an elementary school teacher, she is my book connection. See if you can pick up on the theme:
Mama, Do You Love Me?
What Moms Can't Do
In My Momma's Kitchen
What Mommies Do Best
the other half of which is: What Daddies Do Best - if you flip it over and start from the other end of the book.
That makes 6 books in our baby book library. Thank you, Aunt Punchy!
And yes, I think Nate was responsible for that nickname, too.
Dream quip:
The honest-to-goodness SHORT version is that my co-worker thought it would be perfectly acceptable to babysit his grandkids at work. During the work day. I had to get him to stop playing goofy games while his grandkids were calling him "Pop Pop" (his actual grandfather name) and get some work done.
The End
14 weeks 4 days.
Next prenatal appointment: May 30th.
Next ultrasound: about a month after that.
I know. You don't even have to say it.
We might as well call it an eternity from now.
And no, it wasn't him that came up with "Chester", but frankly we just can't resist using it until we know the real deal.
In the meantime, he's been referring to my midsection, and the purpose thereof, as a number of nicknames reflecting the fact that I am housing our baby. The list includes but is not limited to:
Baby House
Baby Condo
Baby Barracks
Baby Yurt
Baby Pup Tent
Baby High Rise
Baby Mansion
Baby Apartment
Baby Castle
Baby Shack
Baby Shanty
We've had a fun time with this list.
Attached picture is of a yurt.
He also called me "Short Stuff" last week, a day or so after I cut my hair. I didn't even get it until he said it a second time, on account of me being a mere 5'3", so I thought he was just referring to my overall height. Duh.
I need to mention another thoughtful Mothers' Day present, from Aunt Punchy again. Since she's an elementary school teacher, she is my book connection. See if you can pick up on the theme:
Mama, Do You Love Me?
What Moms Can't Do
In My Momma's Kitchen
What Mommies Do Best
the other half of which is: What Daddies Do Best - if you flip it over and start from the other end of the book.
That makes 6 books in our baby book library. Thank you, Aunt Punchy!
And yes, I think Nate was responsible for that nickname, too.
Dream quip:
The honest-to-goodness SHORT version is that my co-worker thought it would be perfectly acceptable to babysit his grandkids at work. During the work day. I had to get him to stop playing goofy games while his grandkids were calling him "Pop Pop" (his actual grandfather name) and get some work done.
The End
14 weeks 4 days.
Next prenatal appointment: May 30th.
Next ultrasound: about a month after that.
I know. You don't even have to say it.
We might as well call it an eternity from now.
Sunday, May 13, 2007
In Awe of Mothers
I have to say, I wasn't really considering myself in the same group as the, well, since I'm on a roll with the term, "Rockstars" that we call Mothers on this annual holiday. But I was touched to receive several well-wishes, e-mails and even honest-to-goodness Hallmark and homemade cards for "Pregnant Women on Mothers' Day". So thank you to all who are thinking of this Mother-to-Be who looks forward to having a 6-month old next Mothers' Day. (!)
Last night Nate and I had dinner with friends at their house while they/she did an amazing job at juggling all the moving pieces involved in entertaining a clueless childless couple like us with thoughtful and witty conversation, preparing a delicious meal that I can't WAIT to get the recipe for, caring for their 3 1/2 and 1 1/2 year old daughters with their varied interests, appetites, and bedtimes, and still having enough energy to sit up and chat with us for another couple hours after the last kid was in bed. Christine, if I was not carrying my end of the conversation, it's because I was just taking it all in. In awe.
I think I'm just beginning to develop an appreciation for motherhood with a perspective I couldn't have had 10 or 20 years ago. All I really knew of what it means to be a mother was by watching and living with my mom, who always seemed to know the answer to everything, the best way to solve any problem, and made sure our physical and emotional needs were met and then some. It seemed a given that she was just born a SuperMom, with everything inside of her all ready to go. Yeah, she'd told me stories of when she was a kid, and a teenager, and a young woman. And there were pictures around to prove it. But the core of me still felt like she was just born a Mom.
But over the past few years, I've seen friends, family, peers MY AGE, and believe it or not, even younger than me, become mothers. Regular people, fun girls, crafting goddesses, that transformed into mothers. And they, too, all seem to be SuperMoms of their households. Answering questions, solving problems, attending to physical and emotional needs. I can't imagine any of them navigated that transition from Regular Person to Mother without, pardon my frankness, shitting a few bricks in the process. That's what I'll tell myself anyway, because I just did while merely thinking about it.
But I guess you just figure it out as you go, right ladies? My mom always said "You girls didn't come with instruction books!" Well you could have fooled me, Mom, even as your "guinea pig" first kid. That's the other amazing thing about moms. Even though you're just faking it till you make it, your kids are none the wiser. They still think you know it all.
So, my hats off to mothers. I'm humbled to think that by the end of this year I will join your ranks.
On the subject of time marching on, I'm including an updated belly pic. I seriously thought I wouldn't notice much of a difference, but comparing this to the 9 week pic helped me see the difference.
So, okay, maybe it IS a little more than just mac'n'cheese in my belly... I've been ever so slowly easing out of the "maybe it's just my imagination that the waistbands feel tighter" facade that was so comfortable before. I think things are going to start looking a little more real soon!
This also leads me into my next topic of gifts received thus far. In addition to thoughtful cards, e-mails, blog comments and well-wishes, we've also begun receiving GIFTS for our growing family. For Mothers' Day, my favorite Mother-In-Law gave me The Belly Book to help document the joys of being pregnant, complete with places to put weekly belly pic updates, and ultrasounds. LOVE it. Completed the first trimester section in 2 days. I guess I like to write. :)
We also got a couple of children's books from Aunt Punchy. Really, she's a nice person, she just has a scary sounding nickname. My Father the Dog and Mommy Mine. Adorable books. Love that we have started a reading library.
A co-worker of mine gave us a very lovable stuffed-animal frog for Baby at our 12-week mark. It has black and white eyes, which are what infants can see early on (the black and white contrast). Too cute.
Another co-worker gave us a diaper bag specifically made to hang on the back of a stroller. It's black, very utilitarian looking, very even-Daddy-won't-mind-carrying-this looking. PERfect.
I know I also mentioned previously that Nate's cousins Jen and Kate so generously lent me their maternity clothes. SUCH a huge help in saving money in what should be known as one of the most ridiculously overpriced markets out there: fashionable clothes for women desperate to wear anything that does not involve large ducks and bows.
Today I washed and hung my near-future wardrobe out on the line so they'll be ready to go when I need them. It seemed to me to be such a beautiful, fitting day for a task like that.
And finally, I got my first Mother's Day card and gift from my dear husband. Yes, the card was cute and clever, as expected in this household. Then he told me that my gift was: that we could find out the sex of the baby if I want to.
And I do!
So, 6 weeks and counting till that ultrasound.... STAY TUNED!!
And Happy Mothers' Day.
Nicky and Nate
14 weeks 2 days
Last night Nate and I had dinner with friends at their house while they/she did an amazing job at juggling all the moving pieces involved in entertaining a clueless childless couple like us with thoughtful and witty conversation, preparing a delicious meal that I can't WAIT to get the recipe for, caring for their 3 1/2 and 1 1/2 year old daughters with their varied interests, appetites, and bedtimes, and still having enough energy to sit up and chat with us for another couple hours after the last kid was in bed. Christine, if I was not carrying my end of the conversation, it's because I was just taking it all in. In awe.
I think I'm just beginning to develop an appreciation for motherhood with a perspective I couldn't have had 10 or 20 years ago. All I really knew of what it means to be a mother was by watching and living with my mom, who always seemed to know the answer to everything, the best way to solve any problem, and made sure our physical and emotional needs were met and then some. It seemed a given that she was just born a SuperMom, with everything inside of her all ready to go. Yeah, she'd told me stories of when she was a kid, and a teenager, and a young woman. And there were pictures around to prove it. But the core of me still felt like she was just born a Mom.
But over the past few years, I've seen friends, family, peers MY AGE, and believe it or not, even younger than me, become mothers. Regular people, fun girls, crafting goddesses, that transformed into mothers. And they, too, all seem to be SuperMoms of their households. Answering questions, solving problems, attending to physical and emotional needs. I can't imagine any of them navigated that transition from Regular Person to Mother without, pardon my frankness, shitting a few bricks in the process. That's what I'll tell myself anyway, because I just did while merely thinking about it.
But I guess you just figure it out as you go, right ladies? My mom always said "You girls didn't come with instruction books!" Well you could have fooled me, Mom, even as your "guinea pig" first kid. That's the other amazing thing about moms. Even though you're just faking it till you make it, your kids are none the wiser. They still think you know it all.
So, my hats off to mothers. I'm humbled to think that by the end of this year I will join your ranks.
On the subject of time marching on, I'm including an updated belly pic. I seriously thought I wouldn't notice much of a difference, but comparing this to the 9 week pic helped me see the difference.
So, okay, maybe it IS a little more than just mac'n'cheese in my belly... I've been ever so slowly easing out of the "maybe it's just my imagination that the waistbands feel tighter" facade that was so comfortable before. I think things are going to start looking a little more real soon!
This also leads me into my next topic of gifts received thus far. In addition to thoughtful cards, e-mails, blog comments and well-wishes, we've also begun receiving GIFTS for our growing family. For Mothers' Day, my favorite Mother-In-Law gave me The Belly Book to help document the joys of being pregnant, complete with places to put weekly belly pic updates, and ultrasounds. LOVE it. Completed the first trimester section in 2 days. I guess I like to write. :)
We also got a couple of children's books from Aunt Punchy. Really, she's a nice person, she just has a scary sounding nickname. My Father the Dog and Mommy Mine. Adorable books. Love that we have started a reading library.
A co-worker of mine gave us a very lovable stuffed-animal frog for Baby at our 12-week mark. It has black and white eyes, which are what infants can see early on (the black and white contrast). Too cute.
Another co-worker gave us a diaper bag specifically made to hang on the back of a stroller. It's black, very utilitarian looking, very even-Daddy-won't-mind-carrying-this looking. PERfect.
I know I also mentioned previously that Nate's cousins Jen and Kate so generously lent me their maternity clothes. SUCH a huge help in saving money in what should be known as one of the most ridiculously overpriced markets out there: fashionable clothes for women desperate to wear anything that does not involve large ducks and bows.
Today I washed and hung my near-future wardrobe out on the line so they'll be ready to go when I need them. It seemed to me to be such a beautiful, fitting day for a task like that.
And finally, I got my first Mother's Day card and gift from my dear husband. Yes, the card was cute and clever, as expected in this household. Then he told me that my gift was: that we could find out the sex of the baby if I want to.And I do!
So, 6 weeks and counting till that ultrasound.... STAY TUNED!!
And Happy Mothers' Day.
Nicky and Nate
14 weeks 2 days
Tuesday, May 8, 2007
RockStars
I can find no other word more perfect to describe my co-worker friend than: RockStar. It's a term she uses with an amusing amount of regularity, but always in appropriate context.
Yesterday she gave birth to a baby girl, Eva Renae, after being more than a week overdue but hanging in there like a champ. Working right up until her due date, larger-than-life belly and all, always glowing. I can't wait to see more pictures of Eva, or better yet, see her in person.
Another RockStar is our friend Sturk, who celebrated her 30th birthday in style on Cinqo de Mayo. Can anyone think of a better holiday on which to have your birthday?
And finally, I'd like to thank the RockStars in my life who have listened to my processing rants about my love-hate relationship with my hair, and helping me find peace in what to do with it next. After months of deliberation, I went RockStar short again today, or "Sharon-Stone-Short", as I call it. It feels like the hair equivalent to getting your braces off - no, not slimy, but... like there's so much weight missing... I keep thinking it's up in a pony tail, but no, it's just RockStar short. And Nate is still speaking to me. :)
Yesterday she gave birth to a baby girl, Eva Renae, after being more than a week overdue but hanging in there like a champ. Working right up until her due date, larger-than-life belly and all, always glowing. I can't wait to see more pictures of Eva, or better yet, see her in person.
Another RockStar is our friend Sturk, who celebrated her 30th birthday in style on Cinqo de Mayo. Can anyone think of a better holiday on which to have your birthday?
And finally, I'd like to thank the RockStars in my life who have listened to my processing rants about my love-hate relationship with my hair, and helping me find peace in what to do with it next. After months of deliberation, I went RockStar short again today, or "Sharon-Stone-Short", as I call it. It feels like the hair equivalent to getting your braces off - no, not slimy, but... like there's so much weight missing... I keep thinking it's up in a pony tail, but no, it's just RockStar short. And Nate is still speaking to me. :)
Monday, May 7, 2007
Prime Time
Dream quip:
Nate and I were in a documentary about Hurricane Katrina. We were actors in a dramatization scene of a boat that was caught in the hurricane at sea with some other people. Although it was kind of like a scene from The Perfect Storm, too. Anyway. Of course the conditions were very realistic, so as to capture the real terror of what one must have felt if indeed trapped on the boat. So, because it was a movie, I knew I wouldn't die, but I was still quite afraid that I would fall off the boat as it was bucking and rocking around in the tidal waves. And even though I knew it would be safer to go down below under the deck, that wouldn't have been as good for the cameras because they wanted to see the fear in the actors' eyes. So we hunched in a corner of the boat, soaked and freezing and waiting for the scene to end.
I also wanted to take this opportunity to say that by the way, I'm feeling really fine, and have been this whole time. I realized that the blog entries have been missing that element, and that's been because there's basically nothing to report. Trust me, I'm sure that the textbook early pregnancy symptoms would have lent themselves well to some real colorful, slapstick blog entries. For that reason I feel a little shortchanged. But I know that I am SSOOOO lucky to have been feeling so fantastic. Yes, an occassional tired day, random smell aversion, spaciness in the head, unexpected emotional outbursts, and ongoing "chest tenderness" that I've definitely gotten used to. Thus my hugs that are a little on the weak and distant side. But otherwise, I've been a very happy camper of a pregnant woman.
Although one freak phenomenon I still haven't figured out is that the very thought of, let alone the sight of, a particular necklace I made a couple months ago, makes me nauseous. I'm not even kidding. I don't even want to look at it and handle it long enough to take it apart to put the individual beads away. So, it's just hanging out in my jewelry making carrier. For... who knows how long.
And I have a TV show to add to my list of things that make me cry, although this is consistently, predictably, and even when I have not been pregnant: Extreme Home Makeovers. I mean, come on now. How can you watch that and not go through at least half a box of tissues???
And this show is directly after my favorite show ever: America's Funniest Videos.
So, Sunday nights are prime time for an emotional rollercoaster before starting another work week.
13 weeks 3 days
Nate and I were in a documentary about Hurricane Katrina. We were actors in a dramatization scene of a boat that was caught in the hurricane at sea with some other people. Although it was kind of like a scene from The Perfect Storm, too. Anyway. Of course the conditions were very realistic, so as to capture the real terror of what one must have felt if indeed trapped on the boat. So, because it was a movie, I knew I wouldn't die, but I was still quite afraid that I would fall off the boat as it was bucking and rocking around in the tidal waves. And even though I knew it would be safer to go down below under the deck, that wouldn't have been as good for the cameras because they wanted to see the fear in the actors' eyes. So we hunched in a corner of the boat, soaked and freezing and waiting for the scene to end.
I also wanted to take this opportunity to say that by the way, I'm feeling really fine, and have been this whole time. I realized that the blog entries have been missing that element, and that's been because there's basically nothing to report. Trust me, I'm sure that the textbook early pregnancy symptoms would have lent themselves well to some real colorful, slapstick blog entries. For that reason I feel a little shortchanged. But I know that I am SSOOOO lucky to have been feeling so fantastic. Yes, an occassional tired day, random smell aversion, spaciness in the head, unexpected emotional outbursts, and ongoing "chest tenderness" that I've definitely gotten used to. Thus my hugs that are a little on the weak and distant side. But otherwise, I've been a very happy camper of a pregnant woman.
Although one freak phenomenon I still haven't figured out is that the very thought of, let alone the sight of, a particular necklace I made a couple months ago, makes me nauseous. I'm not even kidding. I don't even want to look at it and handle it long enough to take it apart to put the individual beads away. So, it's just hanging out in my jewelry making carrier. For... who knows how long.
And I have a TV show to add to my list of things that make me cry, although this is consistently, predictably, and even when I have not been pregnant: Extreme Home Makeovers. I mean, come on now. How can you watch that and not go through at least half a box of tissues???
And this show is directly after my favorite show ever: America's Funniest Videos.
So, Sunday nights are prime time for an emotional rollercoaster before starting another work week.
13 weeks 3 days
Friday, May 4, 2007
Must... Keep... Eyes.... Open....
What is it about Fridays that wipe me out?
It's another tired Friday, but also the beginning of a weekend of visiting friends and family. So I have that as incentive to keep me awake.
Nate's hosting poker here tonight, which means that unless I think I can sleep through the rowdiness that lasts into the wee hours, which I don't think I'm capable of even in this state of fatigue, I'm better off finding another place to sleep for the night. And what better place than at my mom's, who's just back from California for the season?? It will be nice to catch up with her in person.
Then to Massachusetts tomorrow for our friend Sturk's 30th birthday party! That should be a good time visiting with friends.
So ta-ta for the weekend,
We'll be in touch.
Nate and Nicky
13 Weeks, baby
It's another tired Friday, but also the beginning of a weekend of visiting friends and family. So I have that as incentive to keep me awake.
Nate's hosting poker here tonight, which means that unless I think I can sleep through the rowdiness that lasts into the wee hours, which I don't think I'm capable of even in this state of fatigue, I'm better off finding another place to sleep for the night. And what better place than at my mom's, who's just back from California for the season?? It will be nice to catch up with her in person.
Then to Massachusetts tomorrow for our friend Sturk's 30th birthday party! That should be a good time visiting with friends.
So ta-ta for the weekend,
We'll be in touch.
Nate and Nicky
13 Weeks, baby
Wednesday, May 2, 2007
Milestones
So I've recently learned how to make hard-boiled eggs.
I know. I'm 31 years old, and I had to look it up on the internet.
I feel more prepared for parenthood than I was two weeks ago, now that I can cross this off my list of things I've never done prior to being responsible for another human being. And teaching them things. Like how to hard-boil an egg.
Today is my little brother Alex's (blanking out on the correct use of apostrophe) 7th birthday. Actually, in his time zone, his birthday has come and gone. But I just wanted to give a shout out to my little bro who will be also an uncle this year. He lost his second tooth this weekend, but the toothfairy forgot to pay him a visit. I was told that it was because he went to bed too late that night, and that the tooth fairy probably tried to deliver his present earlier in the evening when he should have been in bed, but couldn't since he was still awake. WOW the parent logic to explain events like this astounds me. I can't wait to test my skills at such feats.
So back to the egg subject. I boiled two last night, planning to bring one to work with me today to have with lunch. My first attempt, a week or so ago, to crack the successfully hard-boiled egg, was a pretty shoddy job. Tons of tiny pieces of egg shell to make sure I didn't eat, sticking to my fingers, etc. I guess it was weighing on my mind pretty heavily, because last night I had a dream that, are you ready for this, I tapped my hard-boiled egg a few times, and it came apart in two big clean pieces. Viola. And today, the process went much more smoothly than the last time.
Wow, if I can boil AND crack an egg, I can do anything. Bring on parenthood.
I know. I'm 31 years old, and I had to look it up on the internet.
I feel more prepared for parenthood than I was two weeks ago, now that I can cross this off my list of things I've never done prior to being responsible for another human being. And teaching them things. Like how to hard-boil an egg.
Today is my little brother Alex's (blanking out on the correct use of apostrophe) 7th birthday. Actually, in his time zone, his birthday has come and gone. But I just wanted to give a shout out to my little bro who will be also an uncle this year. He lost his second tooth this weekend, but the toothfairy forgot to pay him a visit. I was told that it was because he went to bed too late that night, and that the tooth fairy probably tried to deliver his present earlier in the evening when he should have been in bed, but couldn't since he was still awake. WOW the parent logic to explain events like this astounds me. I can't wait to test my skills at such feats.
So back to the egg subject. I boiled two last night, planning to bring one to work with me today to have with lunch. My first attempt, a week or so ago, to crack the successfully hard-boiled egg, was a pretty shoddy job. Tons of tiny pieces of egg shell to make sure I didn't eat, sticking to my fingers, etc. I guess it was weighing on my mind pretty heavily, because last night I had a dream that, are you ready for this, I tapped my hard-boiled egg a few times, and it came apart in two big clean pieces. Viola. And today, the process went much more smoothly than the last time.
Wow, if I can boil AND crack an egg, I can do anything. Bring on parenthood.
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