We did NOT find out the sex of the baby today.
I swear to,... well, I swear on,... well, I just swear. We didn't.
Take all the time you need to read the above text over as many times as you need. The blog will still be here.
And when you're ready, the rest of the story:
I found myself nearing this appointment feeling like it was SO EARLY to be finding out this information, and that we had reached almost "half way through this thing" already and I had gotten used to the ambiguity. I have only JUST started to show, and perHAPS started to feel movement. I'm pretty sure it hasn't all been gas. So, to feel like we're just starting the exciting stuff, to "suddenly" get what could feel like HUGE, pregnancy-changing news, was just feeling overwhelming.
My reasons for wanting to know earlier were that, especially because I had been feeling so fine and normal thus far, I felt like knowing the sex would help a.) make the pregnancy feel more "real" to me, and b.) help me "bond" with the baby better with the additional information.
But those reasons have begun to be addressed by: a.) starting to "pop" lately and look more pregnant ( a trip to Old Navy maternity also helped scratch that itch - AND fill a very real need, of course, Dear), and b.) the VERY beginning of feeling movement... it's still at the stage where I'm not sure if it's my imagination, but it will become more and more noticeable in the next few weeks. And if that doesn't make the pregnancy feel more real, and promote bonding, I don't know what would.
If only I could describe the look in Nate's eyes last night when I admitted these self-doubts of my earlier desire. Oh, did he pounce on that. With the help of a couple of gin and tonics. We had an interesting discussion about the whole thing.
So, blame it on me for changing my mind. Or blame it on Nate for not wanting to know the sex in the first place. We apologize for the roller-coaster ride that we have put you all through. Hate mail can be sent via public blog comment, e-mail, or snail mail. ;)
To distract you with a light story, I'll share that I received THE MOST excited reaction ever from a non-family member or friend today: my dental hygenist, Courtney. I think I've been seeing her twice a year for 3 or 4 years now, and of course these cleaning visits include the requisite personal and family updates. Each visit starts out with the question of any new medical updates, so with a big grin I informed her that I was pregnant. Well you should have seen and heard her excitement. I don't know how many times she told me her cheeks were hurting from smiling so much, even when I couldn't see that she was smiling from underneath her face mask.
And let me tell you, carrying on a conversation while getting your teeth cleaned is a feat in and of itself, even when it's just the occassional comment about the weather, holidays, or vacation plans. But to try to talk about a new, first pregnancy with someone who is so excited for you she is literally oozing smiley faces onto your paper dental bib while manipulating metal instruments in your mouth, is really something else. It was so much fun. The more excited she got, the more excited I got. I hadn't even been THAT excited about our pregnancy since... well, anytime I've shared the news with someone new, it's been a nice rush.
My next visit will be in December, when I will be a PARENT (!!!!!), not worrying about scheduling my appointment around my work schedule since I'll be out on maternity leave, but needing to arrange childcare for my dental cleaning. Anyone free on the morning of Wednesday December 19th? Anyone? :)
Courtney was bummed that she wouldn't get to see my growing belly (I know, isn't that the coolest part of any pregnancy?) so I told her I'd bring pictures with me in December. And oh yeah, probably some pics of the tot, too :) But I couldn't help leaving the blog address with her so that she could see the belly pics so far, and read about how much her excitement made my morning. And so she'd finally be mentioned in a blog, since she said she's only appeared once in one of her many friends-with-kids blogs.
Okay, getting back to our appointment today. Once again, everything went well. Which, again, neurotic me is NOT taking for granted.
I'd say our baby summed up the status of things with the VERY FIRST image that appeared on the ultrasound - I swear:
Thumbs up!
Yes, he/she has a healthy body and head and working organs. More pictures next time.
Nicky and Nate
19 weeks
